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Interventions that Work and Don't Work
For Professionals and For Parents:
Excerpt from an article by Lawrence B. Smith, LCSW-C, LISCW
Oil and Water -- The Attachment Disorder Child in School
Taken from Hoofbeats
the official publication of the Attachment Disorder Network,
Overland Park, Kansas 66204,
September/October 2003, P. 7.*
Interventions -- What Doesn't Work
1. Conventional behavior management plans or level systems.
Such plans are based on consistency, and this consistency
makes these plans easy targets for the strategic thinking of
a AD [Attachment Disordered] child. AD [Attachment
Disordered] children will see a behavior management plan,
not as a way to change behavior, but as simply one more
thing to learn "how to work" for their own purposes. Their
movements up and down the levels has all to do with their
own purpose at any given moment, and little or nothing to do
with success or failure or earning adult approval. AD
[Attachment Disordered] children may even use behavior
management systems as bait t draw adults into useless
discussions about how to sustain progress. The end result
can be that it is the teacher's behavior, rather than the
child's that ends up getting "managed."
2. Challenging the AD [Attachment Disordered] child's
perspective with "objective evidence" in order to persuade
them that their thinking is somehow incorrect. This approach
assumes that the teacher and child share a common view of
"reality" - not true (remember that AD [Attachment
Disordered] children live in a parallel universe). The
teacher's view will make little or no sense to the AD
[Attachment Disordered] child. In fact, the AD [Attachment
Disordered] child is apt to see this approach as a
manipulative attempt on the teacher's part to set the child
up in some way.
3. Traditional problem solving questions such as: What
happened? What was your part in it? What could you have done
differently? AD [Attachment Disordered] children will learn
to spin off the "desired answers", but they will be
meaningless answers. The time spent on this exercise will be
wasted time.
4. Teachers taking AD [Attachment Disordered] children's
behavior or statements personally. This usually takes come
practice as AD [Attachment Disordered] children are skilled
at discovering adult's tender spots and going after them.
5. Reacting emotionally to AD [Attachment Disordered]
children's behavior. This only reinforces the AD [Attachment
Disordered] child's sense of being in control of the adult's
emotions (a goal they generally pursue). Judging or
criticizing the behavior and reactive consequences all fall
into this category. This really takes some practice as AD
[Attachment Disordered] children's behavior can be
relentless, day-in and day-out, as any parent can testify.
6. Doing just about anything the same way every time.
What Does Work
1. Being somewhat unpredictable on purpose. Such
unpredictability is necessary to get past the AD [Attachment
Disordered] child's vast array of avoidance maneuvers. An
adult and an AD [Attachment Disordered] child can predict it
is an adult an AD [Attachment Disordered] child can "work".
2. Drilling in the concept of "choice". Choice is an idea
that is often absent in AD [Attachment Disordered]
children's thinking. It is not simply that they refuse to
accept responsibility -- the idea of people making choices
and having responsibility makes no sense to AD [Attachment
Disordered] children. They need to have it pointed out,
matter-of-factly, over and over, that they are making
choices all the time. Then discussion can begin to move
towards making better vs. worse choices.
3. Four questions never to ask AD [Attachment Disordered]
children: Did you....?, Why did you...?, Do you
remember...?, What did you say? AD [Attachment Disordered]
children can compose eloquent answers to adult questions
that mean absolutely nothing. A question to an AD
[Attachment Disordered] child is simply an invitation to
trick an adult. It works much better to phrase statements as
guesses and let them react to the guess. Their reaction to
guesses will tell you much more than their answers to
questions.
4. Take guesses in order to unmask the AD [Attachment
Disordered] child's hidden agenda (example: "It looks like
your feeling more worried today so you're choosing to not do
your work to try to show me that you're in control.")
5. Use of the word "trick" to describe AD [Attachment
Disordered] children's strategic behavior works better than
the more loaded words like "manipulative", "lying", etc.
6. Become a good observer of AD [Attachment Disordered]
children's nonverbal responses (facial expressions, body
position and movements, eyes, voice, tone, etc.). These are
the most accurate signs of what is going on inside the
child. If you listen to what they say, you will go in
circles repeatedly, going nowhere.
7. Act as historian for the AD [Attachment Disordered]
child. As AD [Attachment Disordered] children live in the
moment, they need adults to remind them of past events that
can help maintain more perspective on the present.
*ICF would like to thank Nancy Spoolstra, Director of the
Attachment Disorder Network in Illinois for sharing this
article with us. Thanks, Nancy!
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